Our nephew and family went home today and Rich and I were sad to see them go. Aggie, our oldest dog, was exhausted from all of the activity over the last five days, so we decided to spend the afternoon and evening resting, watching movies, and relaxing. She seems a little bit more spry today and we’re really relieved. It’s hard when you have older animals, watching them decline. The first thing I do every morning, is check to see if she is breathing. Until I see her chest move up and down, I hold my breath and fret. I’m by nature a fretter. A lot of people will tell you that you can control fretting, and I’m here to say they are wrong. I started fretting in first grade.. I had a teacher who was really large and extremely loud and I was scared of her. Back in those days, we didn’t have kindergarten, so I started first grade when I was four (turned five in November.) I can still remember doing the Pledge of Allegiance and feeling my lips go numb and not knowing why. A few minutes later, I was off to the nurse’s room and going home. I spent a couple weeks in the hospital while they ran every test they could think of, until one day my teacher came to visit, and all of my symptoms appeared at once. Problem solved. By then it was almost the end of the school year, so I just had to get through a few more days and I was free of her.
Anxiety is a terrible thing, and I really feel for people who have it worse than me. I’ve learned to push past the things that I’m afraid of and try to force myself to do them. It’s never easy, but I always feel like I’ve accomplished something terrific when I do. I doubt other crafty bloggers talk about things like this, but then again, most YouTube channels aren’t created around the craftiness of someone with physical limitations. I don’t have issues with words like disabled or handicapped, but have heard from others that those words are not socially acceptable, so I go with the flow. I really only have one word that makes me crazy, and that’s crippled. There’s just something about it that really bugs me. Maybe you have a word that makes you nuts, and I’d love to hear it.
I’ll end this post on another note about Aggie. This summer has been hard on her and although we have air conditioning in the house, we also have fans for rooms that just never seem cool enough. Aggie’s never seemed interested in the fans before, but this year, she absolutely loves them. I don’t spoil her (that was a huge lie), but this year, anything she wants, I give her. That includes buying big box fans at garage sales and placing them strategically where she likes to lay, so she can always have ice cold air blowing on her. We have oscillating fans, and she lays so close to them, sometimes they can’t oscillate. If she’s cooler, she seems less anxious, and pants less. Maybe it helps with her pain. I don’t know, but whatever the fans do for her, I’m going to make sure she has one in every room she lays in. (No, she’s not spoiled at all.)